I guess if growing up, all you knew was people using you and being awful to you, I can see why you'd feel anger towards everything. That kinda stuff really leaves pretty deep marks in people. It takes a super long time to heal and sometimes may never really heal fully.

But, y'know, I don't think you'll ever go back to that again! No one is useless or worthless and that includes you! I mean, you have a family now, and friends! I think that being able to rise above all that's happened to you in the past shows that you're a super strong person!
Even if you have hatred towards everything, including me, that's fine. It's understandable that it'll take time for you to really fully trust others, but no matter what, I'll always believe in you 100%!